Code Alter: Lelouch of the Otaku
by Supreme-Class HikkiNEET
Summary: Self-Insert, sorts of. When I woke up in Shinjuku as Lelouch, I thought "Huh, neat." When I found out that Charles had decided to destroy all things anime, I swore bloody vengeance upon the man. "Sleep with one eye open, your Royal Highness. It's personal now."
1. The Day the Evil God was Born

I'd be lying if I said that I'm completely unfazed right now.

"He mustn't die!" I heard someone yell, and then the telltale sound of a gun being shot exploded in my ears, leaving an annoying ringing in them. In that moment, I caught a glimpse of green hair, light and _blood. _

I saw her fall back. Her body was completely limp as she hit the ground with a "thump". I was frozen still, but not in shock. Nope. The shock would come in a few moments. For now, all I felt was a strange, unfamiliar numbness cloud my mind. The feeling got stronger when I saw an alarming amount of blood coming out from this girl's head.

"Oh? Well… our orders were to take her back dead or alive, anyways. We'll just say that she was shot by one of those Eleven monkeys. What do you think, schoolboy?" I heard snorts and laughs, but I didn't react, I think. My eyes stayed with the downed girl for another moment before I slowly looked up.

Men in military uniforms were standing parallel to me, holding up their guns at eye level and pointing forwards. One of them—the highest ranking one, if his uniform was anything to go by—had an amused expression on his face; a sadistic smirk.

"It's a shame, but she died in vain."

She must've heard that.

I'm sure she heard that.

Her soul must've stayed in this world even after her demise, for that man's words brought her to action once more. She shot her hand at me and caught my ankle in a vicious grip. I winced as I looked down again, and saw a sigil in her forehead glow a bright red.

And that's when the world just stopped making sense.

* * *

My name is Luke. I'm a twenty-three years old office worker (soulless corporative slave) and habit fan of all things anime. My favorite ones are probably "Code Geass", "Yu Yu Hakusho" and "Hajime no Ippo". I'd say that I'm a pretty laid-back, maybe even listless, person. I'm single and not quite ready to mingle. I'm not looking for a girlfriend, even though my family is quite eager to see me in a relationship with someone, _anyone_.

I'm just not good with people, y'know?

That's why I'm spending my Friday night alone, holed up in my room, being one comfy couch potato while watching Code Geass on Netflix.

I first saw this masterpiece several years ago, and I've watched it again at least five more times after that, this being the sixth time. There's something special about it that makes me want to watch it again and again, even though I hate Clamp's art style with unreasonable passion. Slenderman-lookin' characters just aren't my thing, and Code Geass' characters are no exception. Even so, I'm more than willing to tolerate it in favor of its story.

The movie is not included in that previous statement. I have nothing against it, really, but it's just not the same. Not to mention that it was completely unnecessary and kind of messed up one of greatest endings in the history of Japanese animation.

I have nothing against it though. Seriously.

I was watching the episode where the Black Knights betray Lulu when I, probably, triggered a flag.

"Boy, being Lulu sucks. He's, like, the one anime character I wouldn't want to be… Well, and Guts. I'd kill myself immediately if I woke up as Guts. Lulu at least had cool robots and C.C."

I'm a strong Lulu/C.C. supporter. Though Lulu/Kaguya also has its own unique charm, there's no winning against C.C.

"If I were him, I'd ask her out. Kallen is good and all, but I don't do short hair…"

And that's when I triggered the second flag, probably.

"But Lulu really is an idiot at times, huh. If I were him, I would've used the Geass on Suzaku the moment I found out about him being the Lancelot's pilot. Hell, I'd use it left and right on pretty much everyone just to make sure I don't get my back stabbed by my own Black Knights. He wasn't paranoid enough."

_And that's three. I'm out._

* * *

Having an out-of-body experience feels like being submerged in cold water, completely naked. To put in simply, it sucks. You can't breath but you don't really need to, which feels really odd. Unnerving, I'd say.

Other than that, having an out-of-body experience is like having a really interesting _trip_, if y'know what I mean. _Wink. Wink. _

I feel like listening to Let the Sunshine In by The Fifth Dimension. I'm suddenly in a psychedelic mood like that.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a woman chuckle. That woman then spoke in an eerie voice that gave me goosebumps all over my body. "You have a reason for living, don't you?"

"Not really." I quickly said. I didn't intend for it, but my reply came out as a deadpan in spite, or maybe because of, the previous goosebumps.

The visions of evil spirits, cultists and planets that I've been having since I was pulled out of my body all halted at that point. Everything became white as a very naked woman suddenly popped into existence right in front of me.

"So you have no reason to live? What about your sister?" She asked, clearly taken aback.

"My sister?" Oh, I do have a sister. She's Satan's reincarnation and she's well and truly nuts. Never in my life have I met—Thank God!—someone as messed up as her. "My sister is basically all that's wrong with teenagers these days and then some. Also, I think she's a sociopath. I'm not saying that I don't care about her at all, but I really can't say that she's a reason for me to live. That'd be way too sad. Also, I think she wouldn't care if I died." I did a pause as I thought of something. "Actually, I think she'd be happy. She'd get to have all my things. Selfish, uncaring little… I'm giving everything to charity. Fuck it." I cursed under my breath.

The naked lady in front of me blinked a few times, clearly surprised, before shaking her head.

"Even if that's the case, I'm sure you have something worth living for?"

I feel like this girl is trying to make me care about my own life now.

"I mean… Nothing comes to mind?"

"..."

"..."

There was an uncomfortable silence that I spent looking at the empty… Sky? Ceiling? What do I call that thing? Up?

"So you want to die?"

"Huh? No, I guess. I mean, it's not like I'm suicidal or anything. It's more like… Oh shit, am I depressed?" I feel like I need some good memes to lift my spirits right about now.

The girl frowned, shrugged and then put on a confident smile as she stepped closer. The fact that she's naked was not forgotten. Not even for a second, so I kept my eyes on hers. I'm gentlemanly like that.

"What if you had power? Surely you could change things if only you had power…"

"What kind of power?" I reply, trying to be as casual as possible about this. What the hell is "this", anyways?

Her smile became a little sad when she replied. "The power of the King. This power will isolate you, and while you'll live on as a human, you'll be unlike any of them. A different logic… A different time… A different time life…"

She paused as she looked into the distance. She probably did it for dramatic effect.

"If you want it, then this shall be our contract: in exchange for my gift, you'll fulfill one wish of mine. Do you accept?"

I shrugged and nodded.

Some may say that that was rather stupid, others would simply call it anticlimactic, but I'm just not one to refuse supernatural powers from suspicious people while facing armed men, okay? I'm also rather straightforward, or so I've been told.

Moreover, I'm not dense enough not to see where this is going, as unbelievable as the whole situation might be.

Code Geass _is _one of my favorite animes, after all. Though I kind of feel like the lines are different…

Well, it's a dream. I'm sure it's just a dream, so I might as well enjoy while it's still nice and all. You can never know when the Asian Space Frog of Doom will show up.

Yes, I have weird dreams.

"Yeah, sure. I, Lelouch vii Britannia, accept the terms of the contract and yadda yadda."

She chuckled.

* * *

When the world regained its colors, I was back in the destroyed warehouse from mere moments ago. No time had passed, apparently.

The Britannian Soldiers were still there, smiling with sadistic glee.

"**Die**" I ordered. They happily complied.

I watched them kill themselves as the strange numbness slowly began to dissipate, courtesy of the slight warmth I felt in my left eye, I'm sure.

"Huh, neat."


	2. The WTF Experience

The interior of the warehouse was awfully quiet, almost as if the events that had only just transpired separated this space from the conflict still going on outside.

The strange numbness that had impaired my ability to properly react to the high-levels of "WHAT THE FUCK?!" that are currently present in here have finally faded away completely, allowing me to properly "appreciate" my situation.

"Appreciate" serving as a replacement for "losing all of my shit", obviously.

The thick smell of blood, gore and gunpowder permeating the warehouse made for a _really_, _**really**_—_and I seriously can't stress this enough—_revolting stench.

I covered my mouth and nose with the collar of my shirt before firmly pressing my hand against it, an unsuccessful attempt to placate the sudden and violent assault to my senses. How could those soldiers _smile _in a situation like this, with smells like these heavily impregnating the air, I'll never know. Just being here is driving me to the verge of throwing up.

—_And I'm still refusing to address much of the worst of it. _

If the smell is "revolting" to me then I'm simply not qualified to describe just how terrible the actual scene is. The sheer number of corpses is just too… it's too much. If I needed something to convince me that this isn't just one of those stupid "vivid dreams" I've heard people mention before then I don't need one anymore!

The brain isn't capable of making something like this up, not on such an extreme level of detail nor on such a high state of awareness. It'd might be different if the person in question has had the experience before, but I've never been to a freaking war zone before!

**"Calm down!" **

I went completely tense as I heard someone shout at me. The voice, full of something between frustration and urgency, claimed my full attention for two seconds before I jerked my head left and right, up and down, Geass flaring to life as my self-preservation instincts temporarily overruled my "appreciating".

At first, I thought that C.C. had woken up/revived, but she was still down cold, though at least blood was no longer pouring out from her forehead; a good sign, I noted. I then proceeded to mentally berate myself, as I noticed that the voice that I had quite literally just heard was most definitely a male's. "Keep it together, me! I know that the Clamp's are into that shit but C.C. is not a Trap! I hope!"

**"That's not 'calming down', but it's better than having you freak out in a place like this, I guess."**

The voice spoke again, this time sounding more collected; authoritative, even. This, of course, prompted me to resume my search.

I crouched as low as I possibly could, trying make myself as small a target as possible, something I deeply regretted soon after, when the stench of blood and—is that someone's brain?!—things I'd much rather not identify entered my nostrils.

"Oh, fuck this." I whimpered.

**"Indeed."**

"Okay, Mr. Mysterious voice sir,"—I spoke in an obvious mocking tone, trying to make it clear for whomever he is that I've grown tired of this little game of hide-and-seek—"would you be kind enough to show yourself? You're about to—**Urgh!**"

I did say that I was on the verge of throwing up, didn't I?

**"Oh, come on! I just cleaned those shoes!" **

I forced my head up, trying once again to find the source of the voice, only to splatter vo—you know what? I'm just going to save you the mental image. Short story shorter, no one was there.

**"Okay, enough is enough! Just give me my body back, you imbecile! How did you even steal it from me?! **

_"Wait, what?"_

I thought while I continued to save you the mental image.

**"I told you to return my body to me! And could you stop throwing up now? Is this the first time you see a corpse up-close?" **

_"Not really, but it is the first time I see so many and in such state. A little understanding here wouldn't kill—Wait. Are you… Are you inside my head? The hell?!" _

**"No, **_**you **_**are inside **_**my **_**head and I want **_**you **_**out right this instant!" **

I paused, both my thoughts and my mental-image-saving, as his words slowly seeped in. My eyes narrow and my mouth hangs open as we venture into new, uncharted levels of "WTF."

Going on a limb here, I mentally called out the one name that came to mind: _Lelouch? _

**"Yes,"—**he snarled, not bothering to hide how livid he is—**"But the most important question right now is: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" **

_"Hey, calm the fuck down, will you?!"—_I snapped—_"In case you haven't noticed, I'd much rather be anywhere else but here. If you want your weak-ass body back, just tell how to give it back, okay?! And my name is Luke! Pleased to meet you! I'm a huge fan!" _

**"Why thank you! But why would a fan—Did you just insinuate that you don't know how to give me back my body?"—**I mentally nodded, if such a thing is even possible—**"Then how did you take it from me to begin with?!" **

_"How would I know?! Do you think I did this on purpose or something? Do you think people casually invade other people's minds? How the hell do you spend your weekends?!" _

**"I don't see why I should—" **Lelouch's words died in his figurative mouth when a large machine rushed through the already debilitated walls of the warehouse.

The purple robot stood still for a second before spinning on its _Landspinners, _if I remember its name correctly. Just as quickly, the Fifth Generation Knightmare Frame, **Sutherland, **pointed one massive machine gun towards me.

Lelouch and I both temporarily settled our differences to join in a completely justified_**"Oh Fuck." **_

**"Quick! You must use your voodoo powers to force whoever is in that Sutherland to hand it over to us!" **Lulu yelled inside my (our?) mind.

Knowing how things would end if I used the Geass in this circumstances, I decided to ignore Lelouch's request for now.

**"What happened here?!" **A female voice came out of the juggernaut's speakers. Her tone showed just as much hostility as her raised gun.

"PLEASE!"—I yelled, trying to convey as much distress as possible. Of course, that distress was half-faked, as I had a pretty good idea of things would turn out—"Help me! My name is Alan Spacer! I'm the son of a Duke! My I.D. is in my breast pocket! After you've verified who I am, I'd like to request your protection!" There was a pregnant silence after my sudden plea for help. She's probably wondering what would the son of a Duke be doing in place like this, at a time like this. During that time, Lelouch screamed bloody murder in our mind.

**"You idiot! I don't know about you, but I can't be found! My sister's life and my life could both be ruined if—" **

_"I know, Lulu!"—_I yelled back. I could feel Lelouch's rising anger in my mind as he was about to yell at me again. Maybe he doesn't like to be called "Lulu"—_"But we have no choice right now. Your Geass only works when there's direct eye contact with the target. We have to get her out of her bloody Knightmare before I can use my 'voodoo powers', capeesh?" _

**"Very well"—**the Knightmare's pilot said—**"Stay right there and don't move. I'll verify your I.D. myself. If you try something funny, I'll shot" **Just like in the series, the Knightmare's cockpit opened, and from it emerged a dark-skinned woman with long, bluish/grayish hair.

Had I been in any state to give a damn about stuff like that, I would've commented on how beautiful Villetta Nu is and on how lucky Kaname Ohgi would be. However, such things have no space in my mind as all I care about at this point is getting the hell out of here.

Villetta walked ten steps or so before I activated the "voodoo power" (I can't believe he said that! That's hilarious!) and casted the spell—"**From today onwards, you live to serve me.**"

Villetta suddenly stopped in her tracks as I imagined the Geass' Sigil fly over to her. In no time, her eyes were outlined by a bright red circle.

"Yes, my Lord. Please order me as you wish." Lelouch gasped in our mind as she bowed.

**"Such terrifying power…"**

I gasped.

_"Hypocrite!" _

**"Excuse me?" **Lelouch raised a figurative eyebrow at my sudden outburst. Apparently, even though we're currently sharing the same mind, he doesn't have access to my memories, which means he won't understand unless I explain him, something I'm not going to do until after I'm well away from this damn building. I just shrugged, also figuratively.

Out of curiosity, I checked if I could remember some details of Lelouch's life that were not shown to the public. I was mildly disappointed when I got nothing for my trouble. Miffed, in turned my attention to woman in front of me.

"I need you to help me carry the green-haired girl over there"—I pointed a finger to C.C.'s direction—"to your Knightmare. After that, just like I told you, I'd like to request you protection. Also, let's do this quickly, okay? I'm, like, two minutes shy of throwing up again."

"As you wish, my Lord." Villetta then rushed to C.C.'s side and carried her fireman-style. Meanwhile, I walked on unsteady legs to the purple robot. Lelouch, once again, spoke to in our mind.

**"Did you have to enslave her? You only needed to tell her to hand over her Knightmare, give me back the control over my body, and I could've done something about this on my own." **Lulu said, his words full of judgment.

"I don't know how to give you your body back, okay?"—I said after a giving him a heavy sigh—"Hell, I don't know how I ended up in this situation in the first place!"—I jumped over a particularly large puddle of blood, only to caught a glimpse of a child's lifeless body. I grimaced as all the regrets I might have had for killing those soldiers vanished completely.—"But I do know one thing, Lulu. I don't know how to pilot a Knightmare and I don't know how to fight, either. Villetta, on the other hand, is quite skilled with both of those things, I believe."—I took a brief glance in Villetta's direction. She had already placed C.C.'s body inside the cockpit.

Lelouch didn't say a thing for around ten seconds, then—**"How do you know her name? You never asked."**

_"I'll tell you all about it later, okay? We're going to need each other to stay alive in this hellhole you call world, anyways."_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Ah… I wrote this in, like, what? Six hours or so? And it's only 1800 or so words… I

I've read some authors say that they wrote 3k+ or 6k+ words chapter in an hour. I'd like to call bullshit on that. Though if it's actually possible, I'd like to do that one day too.

Do remember to review. I'd like to know what you think. Tell me if you think this chapter felt rushed or anything like. Feel free to praise me if you think praising is due. I know I appreciate the ego boost.


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